Excerpts from Writings page 2 THE SICILIAN TEMPERAMENT
Myfatherusedtotellthestoryofabrotherbeing slammedagainstthebarnbyhisfatherinaparentalrage. Imbuedinthestory’stellingwasastoicsenseofpridein having lived through those times of no nonsense discipline andhisparental wish togiveacomparativeexample of how easy my generation was having it.With similar stories, we second generationAmerican-Sicilians seemed to take a nationalistic pride in quick, reactionary anger responses to challenging circumstancesAttributing these displays to our Sicilianism, weshared personal incidents that had aroused our family tempers, often with smugness and disingenuous remorse.This behavior wasacceptableto us,thenorm,untilwebegandatingandsubsequently marryingnon-Italians, ('mericani).
Americani, anyone not Italian, did not understand theItalian temperament.Few of themwere accustomed toangerasareactiontofear,worry,concern,and,howeverconvoluted,asa means ofexpressinglove.Theywerenotawareofthequicknesswithwhichapersonorwhole familymightbecome insulted by another's comment oractions toward them, and, they were even morebewilderedbytheexpectationthattheyshouldalways sidewiththeirspouseinallmatters, atleastinpublic.
They were not aware ofl’ordine della familia(the familyway).In the customs of the old country, few Italiansmarried outside of the nationality.As a matter of fact fewItalians married outside of their regions so that Siciliansmarriedsiciliani, Neapolitans marriednapoletani, and soon.With arranged marriages, the women were bound bythe“rules”ofthecultureandwereresignedtofollow them, unquestionably, upon entering the marriage.In these early days, thoseamericani wives might haveendured mistreatment by immigrant husbands, especiallythe women who had few vocational or life style optionsbuttostayat home, dohousework,andattendtothechildren.Eventually, as women's rolls in the family andattitudesof marriage changed,andastheiropportunitiestoleavethe homes improved, especiallybyleavingthecareandguardianshipof smaller childrentotheirolderones, women began to leave the homes for the workplace.This freedom allowed themto reject abusive relationships anduncheckedItaliantempers.Thesenew“rules” almostalways created marital tensions, which unresolved, led tobroken marriages.
Quick explosive tempers were not viewed as anythingtraumatic tous children.Truthbetold,ourexperienceswere not as extreme as being slammed against a barn;but,when we did encounter outbursts, they were taken to be partoftheSicilianclothofourculture. Inthesemoments,wewouldhaveheardthe barrages ofSicilian curses inEnglishandSicilianthat,havingbeenexpectorated,were assuddenlyabated.In terms of today's standards,itcouldbeconcludedthat many families sufferedabusesatthehandsoftheirItalianfathers.Inretrospect,theincidentof my uncle'smistreatment certainly would support that.
Regretfully,thepeasantimmigrantsoftentreatedwives, children,and farmanimals with undistinguishedharshness, presumably to maintain a tight reign, better tomaintain control of family and circumstances in theiralien environments.
Itisinterestingtonotethatwhilewechildrenhadnot spent much time aroundourSiciliangrandparents,weoftenreactedwiththe same anger,perhapsnotasextreme, butatleastas vocally andemotionally,asthey.
Myfatherwasnotpronetophysicalviolence.OurItalian mother usually carried out corporal punishment and otherdiscipline,truetothe Sicilian household custom.Itcanbesupposedthatthe mother's approachwouldbelesssevereand damaging thanthefather'sheavyhand.Myfather's angerwasratherspilledout many times invitriolicwordsbothin English andinSicilian.Hisfrustrationswerefierceragesthatquickly subsided intoweightysilencesofintrospections.Wecouldfeelhis shame atsuchoutbursts,asindeed we toofeltinourowntempestuousmoments.Since we siblings shared the sametendencies of temper and anger, we naturally supposed thatitwasasaresultofourupbringinginaSicilianhome,and germane to our family line of descendents.Thistemperament, however,wasnotexclusivetothe my family, werealizedasweknewotherSicilianswithmuchthe same characteristics.Sicilianhistory,Iwastolearn, unwittingly handed down through our descendents, was the mitigatingagent in much of our reactions andbehaviors.Itshistorytellsofarecurringcycleof betrayals (oftenbythe governing bodieswhowereestablishedtohelpitspeople),foreignoccupierswho ruledtheislandforcenturiesat time, andperpetualdenigrationfromanortherncountrywho,afterovertaking the island with the promise of reform, begrudginglyallowedthevanquishedrealestatetocallitselfItaly. Those immigrants’ arrived withcenturies old baggage ofSicilian hardships hand packed with stories and actualexperiencesofthesedeceits.Andthen,aftersurviving thesorrowofseparationandtheensuingharrowing journeyacrosstheAtlantic,theycontinuedtostruggleto survive within an environment thatwasopenlyhostiletoward them.InThe Italians,LuigiBarziniwritesabout the "habits, traits, tendencies, and practices [that]areunmistakably our [Italians] own."He calls themcose all'italiana.IfoneisgoingtounderstandItalianbehavior,hethenneedstolookattheseItalian“things”andtrytosee how environment and historical circumstances haveworked to formand shape them.As Barzini concludes,Thesecose “...clearly determined thecausesofpastevents.They will surelydetermine the future."
Wesecond generation American-Italians unknowingly makedecisions,reacttosituationsandpeople,infact,viewthe world in ways, which are grounded in the Sicilian past, a pastwehaveonlyexperienceindirectly,throughthose Sicilianswhohavebeenpartsofourlives.Althoughwe donottrulyknowthemotherland,wecontinuetobe affectedin many small waysbyitsculture,its customs,andtherealpeople,our ancestors, whocarried with them,teste dura(tenacity)and the inventiveness thatwasnecessary to survive a harsh new homeland.Centuriesold customs make usboththebenefactorsandthe victimsof Sicilian history.Thesestrands of thought andbehaviors are, for many us, all we have left of the oldcountry.